Running
“Just one more tree,” I say to myself. “Only to the tree. It’s a couple more meters,”
“You’re so close, come on.” I like to talk with myself whenever I run. It helps me concentrate. It helps me stay motivated.
Finally, I get to the tree. “You’re amazing. You got here already. You can do one more. Just one more tree.” The cycle repeats. One tree at a time, I finally manage to finish my five kilometer run. I reach my apartment, exhausted. Another morning, another successful run. I would hope that by this point I could finish a five kilometer run without having to think about trees. But counting trees is what helped me begin in the first place. It made such a daunting task feel so simple.
I took a shower, and started dressing up for the day. I glance at my bed, part of me just wants to drop down and sleep just a couple more hours. “Just one more tree,” I tell myself in the mirror. It has been years since the last time I couldn’t finish one more tree, I wasn’t about to start now. And so, I shake my head, I finish putting on my suit, and I grab my helmet as I get ready to take my bike to work. People are always amazed to see a guy in a suit riding a bike. But I hate traffic, and this way it is so much more efficient.
“Just one more tree,” I say to myself.
“What was that Peter?”
I keep running. I heard Emma, but I decided to just keep running. I figure she would see I was concentrated, and she’d simply ignore what I had said.
“Oh nothing, just talking to myself.” Who was I kidding, of course I couldn’t ignore Emma. “It helps me concentrate.”
“Okay… sure…. Also, what did you think about the new boss?”
“Oh, Jimmy? I don’t really know, it seems like he knows what he’s doing, he went to Harvard and all.”
“Oh, who cares about that. I’m not really convinced, I don’t think they needed to hire externally. They could’ve promoted any one of us.”
“Someone’s salty.” I answer back to Emma, slightly out of breath. We took a slightly longer route today, we both had a lot on our minds and so yesterday we decided that we would go running this morning. We live close to each other, so I started my run and she joined when I passed by her building. Then, we continued along the city. There was a magic to running beneath the massive buildings of New York City. The streets are not that busy today, and there is a very light breeze that makes everything that much better. I usually run in my building’ gym when there is even the slightest chance of raining, but Emma said she was fine running under a light breeze, and so I had to be fine with it too.
“I’m not salty. I’m just saying, that overall productivity would be better if they promoted someone who the team already knew well, and hired a replacement, rather than if they hired an outsider to suddenly manage all of us.”
“I’m not sure about that. Imagine they promote Becky.”
“Well obviously they wouldn’t promote Becky, she doesn’t know anything. She’s always screwing up.”
“Okay, then what about Mark?”
“Oh my God, you might as well promote Becky.”
“You know, it seems like what you wanted was to be promoted.”
“No, that’s not at all—” Emma sighed and rolled her eyes at me, and she stopped talking. We continue with our run.
Emma and I said goodbye a couple blocks back, and then she turned to take the route back to her apartment. I hated when a good conversation we were having just went out like that. “Just one more tree,” I say to myself. I’d think about what just happened, but I prefer to concentrate on my run. I continue to run back to my apartment.
“Just one more tree.” It’s just me this morning. It’s probably just going to be me for quite a while. They fired Jimmy a couple weeks ago, it turns out he couldn’t really lead the team quite as well as management thought he could. After careful consideration, management decided that they would promote someone from inside the team, and Emma was so pleased with that, constantly reminding me that she had been right from the beginning. When management decided to promote me to team lead, Emma started being pretty distant. I think it was pretty obvious that they wouldn’t promote her, she wasn’t rational when it came to making decisions under pressure. She was great at her work, but she couldn’t keep a calm head. If she happened to be slightly annoyed at someone that day, she would make suboptimal decisions for the team to get at the other.
I kept passing tree after tree. The weather is particularly nice today. I can smell the river right next to me. Today I decided to challenge myself. I took the subway down to financial district, I started almost right next to the bull, and my route would be to take the Hudson all the way up to 59th, then through central park, until I got to my apartment (right by the Met, 80th and 5th). A total of 11.6 kilometers. I am just by 28th right now, so just about halfway through my run. There are more people than usual today, probably due to the weather. I’ve been having to run inside these past few days because of the cold and the rain. But as winter comes to an end and we start to get some 10º C days, it makes sense that there’d be so many people outside today. I can hear some seagulls in the distance, they make some good ambience to the already beautiful Hudson. “Just one more tree,” I keep repeating to myself. The trees are mostly leafless, although there are a few bushes here and there that have already started to regrow.
As I continue running, appreciating the beautiful scenery, I take a look at my vibrating watch to see that I have a call from Emma. “She must have called twice already,” I think to myself, as I always have my phone in Do Not Disturb whenever I’m in a call. I decide to ignore the call, as she’d been ignoring me those past few days. “I’ll call her back when I finish my— just one more tree to go.”
I’m passing through central park, and as always, I stare in disbelief. How the conglomerate of companies have not demolished this beautiful place already, I’ll never get. All of the birds flying by, all of the (mostly dead) trees that I look at, they become that much more beautiful whenever I remember that I’m in the literal middle of Manhattan. I get another call, this time from an unknown caller, on my watch. I decide to ignore it, I’d call them back as soon as I got back to my apartment.
“Just one more tree,” I say to myself as I pass through Emma’s building. I see an ambulance and a couple of police cars, and I start getting slightly worried. I recall the two calls I had heard before. I keep running, and get back to my apartment. I take a shower, as always, I dress for work, as always. Just before leaving, I remember the calls I had received. I try calling Emma, but she doesn’t answer. I then call the unknown number that had called me.
“NYPD District Office.”
“Excuse me, I got a call from this number.”
“Just a second—” a few seconds passed. “Is this Peter Williams?”
“This is him. What’s going on?”
“Let me reroute you to the officer in charge of Ms. Anderson’s case.” A few more seconds passed.
“Mr. Williams, this is Officer Holt. I’m calling you to follow up in the investigation of Ms. Emma Anderson’s suicide.” I sit down after hearing this.
“This is the last number she called before it happened,” Holt continued. Maybe she needed my help? Had nobody else answered?
“We will need to bring some questioning to ask about the contents of your conversation,” Holt continued.
“I did not answer her call, I don’t think I can be of much help.” I’m still in shock, but I figure I would help as much as I could. After all, I did not answer her call.
“Regardless, if you could come to the station, your testimony would be of great help in our investigation.”
Our conversation went on a little longer. I sat in my bed after we finished talking, thinking to myself. For a moment, I consider skipping work today. “Just one more tree,” I remind myself. Besides, I had already gotten ready to leave, so I might as well just get through the day
During my morning run, for a moment, I feel sad that Emma is gone. “Just one more tree,” I say to myself. After all, she did ignore me. I did nothing wrong. “Just one more tree.” I keep running.